omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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