Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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