it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
