we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
