I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
