He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
