dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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