i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
