i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
