So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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