Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
