Cold hands, warm shart.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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