I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
