Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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