My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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