When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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