we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
