oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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