your room smells of hookers.
And success
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is Oprah even human
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
