I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
