just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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