remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
