Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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