Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
