I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
