worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
