wakey wakey hands off snakey
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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