wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
