you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
