She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
