Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
