I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
