he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
