North Korea, Best Korea!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
