i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
nutella sex= disaster
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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