ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
