We're facebook friends in real life
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
