***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
