pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
