I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
