i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
