omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
