they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
