Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just pee around me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
