You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
