Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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