I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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