I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize