That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
