i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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