There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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