Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
